


Appropriate Imagery Not Found

by AvecPlaisir



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 07:34:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2101038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvecPlaisir/pseuds/AvecPlaisir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during the first war against Voldemort. AU. </p><p>Remus works at a muggle bar, and lives in a muggle apartment and never went to Hogwarts. Oh, and is in a wheelchair. But is happier? Featuring Kingsley Shacklebolt, and Remus's undying admiration of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Appropriate Imagery Not Found

 

Remus’s hands shook as he attempted to unlock the door to his muggle apartment; as a result he had a harder time putting the key in the lock then he should have.

He hoped Sirius wouldn’t think he was daft.

“Tea?” He offered, after he had cleared the threshold.

He wheeled himself to the stove and put the kettle on, leaving Sirius to close the door. He’d just got out a couple of mugs before Sirius came over and placed a hand on his.

“I didn’t come here for tea,” Sirius said.

Remus almost dropped the mugs. Thankfully, he was able to set them on the counter without hazard.

“No?” he asked, in an imitation of someone who was calm and insouciant.

Sirius bent down, hands resting on the arm rests of Remus’s chair, and looked Remus in the eyes.

“Is it alright if I kiss you, Remus?” Sirius asked.

Remus nodded stupidly.

Then Sirius Black was kissing him, in his kitchen, with the kettle on and his collar buttoned up all the way. Remus Lupin gasped at the contact, hands flying up to grab Sirius by whatever his fingers reached first, and he had never quite understood the point of snogging like you were trying to eat the other person, until now.

When Sirius pulled away, Remus made a noise that was completely undignified and entirely too loud. It echoed in his small kitchen. Sirius ran a tongue over his own lips, which were covered in Remus’s spit, and Remus felt his face heat up. He’d been enthusiastic, entirely too enthusiastic, for that to have been a good kiss. Sirius had loads of prospects, Remus knew, from birds and blokes, and he could afford to be picky about who he snogged. Remus hadn’t meant to, but he was sure his reaction to Sirius’s kiss had seemed nothing short of desperate. And now Sirius was turning away, expressionless, and eyeing his small apartment with distaste.

“If I didn’t know any better,” said Sirius, “I’d think you were a muggle.” Then a thought occurred to him, and he looked at Remus narrowly. “You’re _not_ a muggle, are you?”

Remus shook his head.

The tea kettle whistled unhappily.

 “Tea?” Remus offered again, lamely.

Sirius’s eyes rested on the kettle, before he shook his head. “Better be off,” he said. “See you around, Lupin.”

Lupin. Sirius was calling him by his last name, now. Their kiss had been that bad.

The moment Sirius let himself out of his apartment, Remus buried his head in his hands and tried not to cry.

For one glorious moment, Sirius Black had been interested in him.

Sirius Black, arrogantly beautiful, disinherited son of the infamous Blacks, brave, intelligent, witty Sirius had wanted him. Remus wasn’t stupid. He understood the miracle that had been, because even though he wasn’t ugly, he also wasn’t particularly good-looking either. Besides that, he was wheelchair-bound, and sickly looking a good deal of the time, and too poor to afford nice clothes to hide behind. It was, in short, a gift from the universe that Sirius Black had even started talking to him, much less had asked to follow him home or kiss him. But all of those thing had happened, and Remus had screwed it up.

He pressed his heels into his eyes, and attempted to stop feeling so miserable by telling himself _It’s done. No sense worrying about it now._

Even so, he couldn’t help mourning what almost had been.

 

Since Sirius Black frequented the muggle club where Remus worked—it was, after all, how they’d met—Remus wasn’t entirely surprised to see Sirius Back walk in the door a couple days after the incident in the kitchen over which Remus still mourned. Just because it was not surprising, didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt.

Remus quickly busied himself with wiping down the insides of some newly washed glasses and watched Sirius out of the corner of his eyes. He had entered with a large, black, bald man with an earring, who moved gracefully despite his size and whose steady gaze oozed quiet confidence. Remus bit down bitter feelings, and wondered if they were together, and thought idly to himself that if that was the type of guy Sirius went for then he, Remus, had had even less of a chance than he’d thought.

Still, he had to admit that they made an attractive couple.

He couldn’t avoid them any longer when they made their way to the bar and ordered two drinks.

“Sure thing,” Remus said, reaching for the appropriate bottle.

“Alright, Lupin?” Sirius asked.

“I’m fine, thanks,” Remus said, keeping his eyes on his task

“This is my mate, Kingsley Shacklebolt. Kingsley, this is Remus Lupin.”

“Nice to meet you,” said Shacklebolt in a deep, measured voice.

“And you,” Remus said weakly. “Here you go.” He set the two glasses in front of them.

“Ta,” said Sirius, lifting his glass.

Remus mumbled a response and turned to serve other customers.

For the next few hours, Remus watched Sirius and Kingsley. Sirius had introduced Kingsley as his ‘mate’ but that didn’t mean they weren’t together, did it? After all, you could be mates with someone and snog them.

But watching them provided very little information. Remus thought they might get up and dance, but they didn’t; they spent the time talking, and occasionally they would laugh, but most of the time they looked rather sober. As the night wore on, Kingsley eventually left, and Sirius was sitting alone at the bar. A few different people tried to approach him, but Sirius stared them all down coldly, and Remus watched them sympathetically as they left Sirius alone. Remus knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of Sirius’s haughty stare. Remus wondered why Sirius came at all, if he just wanted to sit alone. He could sit alone at his flat, or wherever it was he lived. Just before closing, Remus rummaged up the courage to speak with him.

“Your boyfriend’s very handsome,” Remus said, keeping his eyes on the counter.

Both of Sirius’s eyebrows shot up. “My boyfriend?”

“Kingsley,” Remus clarified.

“Kingsley’s not my boyfriend,” said Sirius.

Remus blinked. This was unexpected information.

“Why not?” Remus asked, and for all the world he sounded almost indignant. “He’s very handsome.”

Sirius was regarding him with amusement. “If you think he’s so fit, why don’t you ask him out?”

Remus blinked again. That thought hadn’t occurred to him.

“He hasn’t got a bird, that I know of,” Sirius added.

“He’s straight, then?” Remus asked sadly.

“I’ve always thought he was asexual.”

Remus considered that.

“But maybe,” Sirius said, leaning forward, “you’ll hold off on asking him, yeah? Because _I_ was hoping I could go home with you tonight.”

Remus stared.

“I thought you didn’t like me,” he blurted.

Sirius looked at him strangely.

“Why wouldn’t I like you?” he asked.

Remus had a lot of answers to that question, had been torturing himself all night with them, but now, with Sirius in front of him, they all sounded silly when he thought about them. After all, the _real_ reason Sirius wouldn’t like him, Sirius didn’t know about.

“You’re quite daft, aren’t you?” observed Sirius. But his tone was fond. “When do you get off?”

“Now,” said Remus. “Basically.”

“Brilliant,” said Sirius.

 

Back at his flat, the scene from the other day repeated itself, except this time, Remus was able to unlock his door on the first try.

Once inside, Remus successfully tempted Sirius with some tea.

“I’m afraid I haven’t got any biscuits,” said Remus.

Sirius waved him off.

They drank tea in relative silence, but it was comfortable, Remus thought, just sitting across a table from Sirius Black.

“How’d that happen?” asked Sirius eventually, waving vaguely at his chair.

“Well,” said Remus. “I got into an accident when I was young.”

“Really? The same accident that gave you those?” And Sirius raked fingers across his own face, to indicate the scars on Remus’s.

Remus shifted. “More or less,” he said honestly. Then lied, “I fell out of a tree.”

“Must have been some fall.”

“It was spectacular.”

Sirius gave a bark of a laugh.

“Do you miss walking?”

“I don’t really remember it, much. I was five.”

Sirius considered him.

“Ever been to the roof?”

Remus blinked. “Pardon?”

“Ever been to the roof of your building?”

Sirius gestured upward.

“No,” said Remus, and paused. “I don’t think we’re supposed to.”

“Then we have to go,” said Sirius, grinning mischievously.

“I don’t think the lift goes up that far.”

“I’ll carry you.”

Remus considered him. “Alright,” he acquiesced. “You can try to get us up there. I don’t know why you’re so fixated on it, though.”

Sirius shrugged. “I’m impulsive that way,” he said vaguely.

Then Sirius Black crouched down in front of his chair, back to him.

“Piggy back?” Remus asked, trying not to smile, wrapping his arms around Sirius’s neck. Sirius’s hands gripped Remus’s unfeeling legs, and pulled them securely around his waist.

“Don’t be angry if the door to the roof is locked,” Remus said, when Sirius had started up the stairs.

“That won’t be a problem, will it?” panted Sirius, and he took out his wand.

Remus closed his eyes, and was very glad that Sirius could not see him. Somewhere between snogging, then kicking himself in the arse for being desperate and resigning himself to the fact that Sirius Black would never like someone like him, he’d forgotten that Sirius was a wizard.

It turned out that the door to the roof had been locked, and that a simple _“Alohamora,”_ and a wave of Sirius’s wand had been enough to unlock it. Soon, Remus found himself lying on his back, admiring the sky with the disinherited Black.

“Look at the moon,” Sirius said, pointing. “Gorgeous, isn’t it? Almost full.”

Remus, who tracked the phases of the moon as unconsciously as you would track the days of the week, looked.

“It is,” he agreed quietly.

“We should come back up when it’s full, yeah?” said Sirius.

“Can’t,” said Remus.

“Why the bloody hell not?”

Remus’s mouth twitched. “I’m afraid of werewolves,” he said.

Sirius propped his head up and looked down at Remus. “There won’t be any werewolves up here.”

Remus almost laughed. If he went with Sirius to the roof on the full moon, there _would_ be a werewolf up there.

“Even if there were,” continued Sirius, “I’d protect you.”

Remus rolled his eyes, and this time he did laugh.

“What?” Sirius demanded, offended. “You don’t think I could fight off a werewolf?”

“I think you’d get your guts ripped out.”

Sirius bristled, but Remus cut off any response he was going to make by supporting himself on his elbows and kissing Sirius soundly on the mouth.

“No,” protested Sirius, pulling away. “I want to talk about how you think I’m some kind of limp-wristed pansy.”

“Sirius,” said Remus, less than patiently. “ _Anyone_ could die, when faced with a werewolf.  That’s what makes them so dangerous. Now, are you going to continue to pout, or can we have sex?”

Sirius stared wide eyed.

Remus let out a huff. “Don’t act so surprised. I know you carry a condom. For when you’re with muggles.”

“How’d you know that?”

“I’ve seen it in your wallet when you take it out to pay.”

Sirius was amazed. “You’ve got some bloody good eyesight, Remus.”

Remus smiled humorlessly. “One of my many talents.”

“And here,” said Sirius, grinning, “I thought you were one of those bookish types.”

“I am,” said Remus.

And he leaned forward and captured Sirius’s mouth again.

 

“I still don’t understand,” Remus said later, over mugs of steaming tea.

“What’s that?” Sirius asked, with a quirk of his eyebrows.

“You could have had Kingsley,” Remus said. “But instead you’ve got me.”

“You’re quite daft, aren’t you?” Sirius asked fondly.

“No,” Remus replied seriously, staring off into the distance. His eyes were glazed over. “I think you’re the daft one.”

Sirius stared at Remus in disbelief.

“You _do_ fancy Kingsley,” he said.

Remus flushed. “Well, I wouldn’t say I _fancied_ him…”

“The world is ending,” said Sirius, “and you can choose only one companion. Who do you pick? Me or Kingsley.”

“You have to give me more facts then that, Sirius.”

“Remus.”

“Is this an apocalyptic setting? Are there zombies? Which of you is the better dueler? Which of you can cook better?”

“Remus.”

“Anyway, that’s a silly question, Sirius.”

“You’re _not answering it_.”

“I’m thinking of ordering take-out,” said Remus lightly.

Sirius groaned and threw a dramatic arm over his eyes. He made a mental note to curse Kingsley the next day. Preferably with something that would make him ugly. Warts, maybe. Or tentacles growing out of his ears.

“Sirius,” called Remus.

Sirius blinked at him.

Remus’s expression was soft. “I’m glad we’re doing this.”

All anger at Kingsley disappeared. Sirius couldn’t breathe for a moment. It was almost too much. Losing his family was hard. Seeing his little brother as a Death Eater was hard. This whole war against Voldemort, the threats to Lily and James’s life—not to mention their sprog—Peter stumbling home at late hours with shadows under his eyes, the secret missions, the steadily increasing death toll—all of that was unbearably, soul-crushingly, mind-numbingly hard.

But Remus? Remus with his clever mouth and sly smiles, the warmth in his eyes and his strange muggle-like habits. Being with Remus was breathtakingly easy.

 _I’m glad_ , Remus had said.

“Me too,” Sirius said.


End file.
